It’s been a hot minute since I got back on this abused laptop of mine and just started typing. And, with so many galleries being sent out, the planners underway, and a team at The Bar like no other – I decided to just focus on me for once. I decided the focus on this post is to remind everybody how quickly life is passing by. Seems generic but bare with me.
Since the beginning of June, when we announced to the public the purchase of property, to not only host the idea of a Bar but also a building to serve the community I have had a rollercoaster of emotions. Emotions on if I made the right choice, if we as a team made the right choice. If we can survive the post apocalyptic COVID world we are currently residing in. The questions have been non-stop, and to be fair, I highly doubt they will go away anytime soon. In fact, this weekend marks one year since the conversation developed + plans were underway. Not only was this a financial investment for our two families but a physical investment; That has more of a devastating effect than anything. However, this was something I knew deep down I wanted to do my entire life. And finally, God granted me this business partner to make things happen. He knew there was no way on earth ( literally ) that I could handle this on my own. Moving forward to the current month. The questions are still there, obviously. The doubt, the frustration, the tears, the bruises + aching muscles, however at the end of the day it is all worth it.
In true “Concrete Mafia” fashion we had booked our trip to the beaches of Mexico. I was struggling thinking about all the things. Kid things. Mom things. Business things. To do lists. Laundry. You know, life. My anxiety was in high force the first two days thinking I should have made the trip shorter, I should be sitting down to do work each morning. But by day 3 I was granted this peace. Peace to just be present. Be there. Rekindle friendships that had fallen to the wayside due to my crazy obsession to keep creating. It was amazing. The weather, the company, the laughs, not so much some of the shots, but we made due. All in all – my soul NEEDED that. We spent 7 days just breathing again, making new goals + ideas on how to use time best. Thoughts on how we can spend quality time with each of our kids. And in the end how to keep this feeling lasting longer than the 1 week and 5 days before it all goes back to “how it was”.
Little did we know what was happening back at home.
As we went through security + got ready to take our seat in the overcrowded Cancun airport we had received a phone call.
Clint’s dad was in the ambulance on his way to the hospital in the midst of a heart attack. A heart attack that left little faith with loved ones, not to mention his care team members.
And here we were, stuck 2,846.8 miles away.
That feeling was one that I will never forget. All I could do was pray. And pray. Hug my aching husband as tight as I could and pray some more. Literally there we were inside a fortress awaiting our plane with the heaviest of hearts. Knowing the minute the plane leaves our phones are off. We can’t be updated. We can’t be releasing emotions by keeping in contact with loved ones. We just sit. In silence with masks on and pray.
Clint and I actually had the aisle seats on this flight and were tightly packed in between some of our best friends. Crazy as it sounds, that added some peace. It wasn’t a stranger who had no idea what was going on it was people who cared and knew. No words needed to be said they were just there. Although there was a loud mouth directly behind me whom seemed to think her stories were hilarious and her problems should be everybody’s, we cranked the volume up on the headsets headed home.
The minute we were able to turn our phones on, we did, naturally. Getting the updates that he was going to make it. The sigh of relief we all had. It wasn’t just Clint and I going through this it was out entire group.
My biggest fear that day was landing on our Minnesota ground and not being able to see this amazing man. Hug my mother in law. Hug my brother in law. My fear was that we wouldn’t get to say our goodbyes. That hit so hard. We raced to the hospital to cure that anxiety and see family. Due to the BullSH** COVID restrictions I wasn’t allowed to see this man whom I love dearly. Instead I held it together as I watched my husband walk away with nurses and headed outside to the crisp air to just cry. I cried so hard. For so many reasons. It was me thanking God for answering those prayers. I thanked him for allowing Ron to have 15 cat lives. I thanked him for the nurses that allowed Clint to go up and see his family. I thanked God for these people in the pictures below that helped get us through it and had no clue.
So, when everyone asks how Mexico was, I feel like I don’t really have an answer. It was amazing. It was awesome, I feel like that was nothing compared to the thought of losing somebody. It also reminded me to take time to “do me”. It was that bitter reminder that life really is all day by day and we are promised NOTHING. It was God telling me – eat the cake, do the dance, go on vacation, take the nasty shot, live life with ZERO regrets.
Whew. That got deep but – it’s the truth, and it’s really what Mexico meant to me this year. I took very little pictures as I was busy soaking in the goodness, but in true photographer fashion you have to whip out the Nikon at some point and document the laughter. You also trust a fellow vacationer to get one solid group pic, even if it isn’t in focus. So this. This makes my heart SO VERY HAPPY.
