I’ll admit. I have been negative for what feels like more days than I have been positive during all “this”. Which when I see in writing, pains me. Why do I have the right to be negative, about anything at this point? I have food, shelter, yes enough TP. The list of what I do have is SO LONG compared to the list of what I don’t have, which really doesn’t have much to it. However, I would be lying if I said that somedays don’t feel long. Or mentally I need a moment or two, to myself.
Spring planting is in full force and as a friend of mine reminded me, FINALLY, FINALLY we have had a smooth sailing, “not overloaded with rainy days or even any snow” kind of season. That in itself is FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC. With that in mind. That means, the last two weeks have been me reliving the movie Groundhog’s Day. I am not even joking.
Every morning I wake up three boys about 7:30/7:45 ( because we have to keep some structure around here ) EVERY DAY it’s the same comment;
1st ) What day is it? ( I feel ya kid, I feel ya )
2nd) Why do I have to get up when we aren’t even doing anything? ( again, I feel ya kid )
The two oldest come up the stairs with hangry faces & terrible breath, the youngest comes skipping out of his room, with equally as terrible breath but per the usual, flaunting his big smile. They all belly up to the counter to get their breakfast mode on, Jace stumbles into the office, making sure he has a shirt on so his google class doesn’t get the giggles and begins his “school day”. After reminding the other two what feels like 200 times to get their chromebooks out and start on school work they finally migrate towards their designated areas. Meanwhile Remi Jayne, aka boss baby, runs around trying to get all their attention. Shoving food in their face, hugging them, putting stickers on them, screaming “PLAY WITH ME” at the top of her lungs, typical Rem J behavior. Hustling her out of their hair by finding something, ANYTHING, for her to do for even 15 minutes is my main goal, meanwhile I hear “Mom” from three different rooms. Rushing over to attend to the school work, make Jaxy a To-Do list, & remind Avery he can use the headphones for learning vs just music.
We finally get situated. So I head to switch a load of laundry quick in between me being summoned to three different locales.
“MOOOM, Mom where are you I need help?”
“Yup, on my way” Leaving the washing machine half full of clothes with the other half begging to be fluffed in the dryer.
We play this game about 15 times. Finally I get Jace’s toast crumbs cleaned up from the office, the washer & dryer actually running, & Rem J redirected for the 37th time.
And then it’s 12. Which means Lunch.
Although this makes me roll my eyes, laugh out loud, & exhausts me just typing it, it’s what we do. For the last almost two months. Trust me I know oh so well I am far from alone in these days… like every other mother, working parent, laid off parent, non-school teacher, teachers, whom by the way should all be getting Maserati’s for their Christmas gifts next year, this is exhausting. This is change. CHANGE SUCKS. There I said it. Actually I think I have rambled those words before but none the less we have made it this far. I chant in my head daily the words from The WaterBoy ” You Can DOO IT” I am my own cheerleader on these days.
At the end of it all, I have the MOST IMPORTANT things I’ll ever need right in front of me. Four Humans, begging me for help with fractions & technology. Asking for a ranger ride & s’mores. Making memories. I keep reminding myself “You are not ALONE” Although I haven’t been on social media much, the few times I am able to pop on, I usually see something similar to whatever this is… a real life, real story, we got this kind of thing. I appreciate that. Typically it brings a smile to my face or a big ” AMEN SISTA” Other days, no joke, the positivity is thrown out the door quicker than our overloaded trash gets tossed.
So at the end of this particular day my boys, asked for a photo shoot… yes I wrote this down, they schemed up this plan to get fancy and have “Something to do”. So we did just that. We got fancied up, hopped on the ranger and drove around until we found the perfect lighting and the perfect spot. This was totally unscripted.
From the playing ring around the rosey, the let’s see who smiles first, giving Rem J smooches & making sure she doesn’t step in the burning nettle, to the beloved Ana coat. It surely was a night I will never forget. Clearly. Because I have images to document it.
This reminded me of why I miss being behind my camera oh so much. It also gave me great joy to pick it up and just go with it. Lastly, when I saw the images on my computer screen it brought tears. Even though I feel as though I am reliving the same day OVER AND OVER AND OVER, I love these little fools so much. Last night we were blessed enough to drive around the local schools in a parade. Stick with me. I myself hesitated at this idea, probably complained in my head but none the less agreed to rally my troops and bring them. We drove through the local grease & go to grab some food & hop in line to watch all the school staff & hopefully spot the boy’s teachers. What I didn’t know was the FLOOD, literally FLOOD of emotion, that was about to rain down on me. Pulling in at 5:55 we saw the lines getting longer and had other places to be ( I mean we ACTUALLY did have a birthday parade to be at which is a whole nother story for a whole nother day ). Upon entering, the street signs had poster boards stuck to them with messages like “We Miss You” or “We Got This”… so immediately I look at Avery and just smile… you can see the bubbles flowing through the air, the sun was pouring down on us, & the staff was energetic with open arms ( keeping our social distance of course). We began the parade, the kids were all giddy & a little uneasy at what to expect. Lone behold the teachers were not only calling the boy’s by their names but reminding them how much they miss them, shooting Silly String all over Clint’s freshly washed Exped, and waving more than they probably have ever waved before. Thank the good lord I had sunglasses on to cover up those tears that started running down my face because I couldn’t shut them off. After driving through the energy in our car went from about 5-15. It was the coolest idea. Another memory for the books of this first ever lockdown for life. And appreciated by ME. A mom. Who misses you ALL so dearly. THANK YOU.