And here we are saying good bye to another year. Another decade. CRAY-ZAY.
If you look at my social media you may notice I have been laying low that last month trying to organize where I am at in life. Which direction I am going. Oh and also trying to keep my head above water as I juggle running a household, mommin’ it, being a “Boss”, & simply catching whatever breath is left for me at the end of the day. Lately it hasn’t felt like much. So I just kinda hit the pause button ( even though that isn’t technically allowed in this trip called Life ) which makes me think before my hands get to carried away at the keyboard I need to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, & for peeps in the back I ll say it even louder … THANK YOU for not only the continued support but more so your patience while I figure out whatever 35 is.
This year has brought both glorious moments & some of the lowest depths I think I have hit in a few years. Wondering if this is what I am supposed to be doing or where I am supposed to be at at the ripe young age of 35.
Honestly, I think my biggest challenge this year was accepting change.
Sounds so simple & ridiculous at the same time. Yet this is one of the hardest tasks for me to conquer to date. Because with accepting change it means saying good-bye to old ways & a different lifestyle. It means not seeing certain people but at the same time finding new ones, different ones that needed to cross my path or maybe I needed to cross theirs. It’s filled with headaches & arguments. It’s filled with so many tears. It’s filled with stress & an overwhelming feeling that I have loss control of the wheel. It means going with the flow, which quite frankly I thought I was already doing.
You want to know what?
It is the MOST FREEING feeling I have EVER felt.
Learning how to let go & let it be. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of how much I try to plan it out, organize it, or prepare for it.
Guys, there are probably 1,235 books preaching this, I have probably attempted to read about 5 of them. And then I quit because in my head I had simplified. I had “went with the flow”. Ha. I was SO WRONG.
I didn’t just wake up and choose this. Oh know… I still had two planners, my master chalk-calendar board, & five apps on my phone trying to organize & simplify my life. (Heck, that doesn’t even sound simple.)
This was handed to me.
It’s called kids. It’s called growing up. It’s called LIFE. (Sometimes it’s called Hockey) and I am about the embrace the hell out of it.
So this year in 2020 I am challenging myself & anybody else whom wants to jump on the bandwagon… I am ACCEPTING THE CHANGE & dang it I am going to ROCK IT.
I am taking a breath before responding to everything & anything.
I am not only making more time for my family & friends but making sure I am present. Be it a cup of coffee or a ten minute chat while attempting to slay my grocery list.
I am letting go of what was and fighting my way through. Every Day.
These are MY DAYS. They are not promised. I need to remember I GOT THIS. I might need help on the way. I might quit ten times & start up again but, hey it’s time for resolutions, realizations, & ME.
Oh & these four beings …. they may wear me down on a daily basis … but they give me EVERYTHING I need to keep going.
So with that being said let’s raise a glass, give a hug, spread even more kindness, & JUST BE in this decade of the new roaring 20’s. Also, I kinda dig the style in the roaring twenties way back then, so the brick & mortar stores and galaxy of online boutiques … figure it out.